#10 All the pain and the truth I wear like a battle wound

I constantly tell myself that I am getting stronger emotionally day by day and indeed, I feel that way definitely. I can't express how much I'm proud of myself being able to go through each day feeling better than ever before. Been filling up my days getting myself busy with school project and other interesting activities to distract myself from the downfall I've been facing for a few weeks. I realized that I'm so much better being alone and when I'm alone, I'm able to reflect on my life. Reflection upon my life is always something that is very important for me because I'm always questioning my existence. Without anything to look forward to everyday, I don't see the point of my existence, seriously.

Now that I've been keeping myself busy with productive things to do, I personally think that I'm finally able to be myself once again. That may sound a tad odd but honestly speaking, I haven't been myself whilst I was with someone, in a relationship I mean. Yes, I'm very emotional and I tend to always change myself for the other person, to meet their expectations because why? Their happiness means so much more than mine. But then I realize, only for how long can I go on pretending to be someone I'm not, just for another human being? I don't feel it's fair for myself. My personalities and characteristics form me up for a reason; to be myself, yet I'm not making full use of it.

Alright besides that, I've been learning Italian! Yes, after so many years of wanting to learn that language, I finally started learning it :-) What's even better is that I've a friend who shares this same interest as me too! It seriously isn't easy learning a new language especially when there's different type of words that could be used for a single meaning. Knowing when to use it in the right context is as tough. I've always loved anything Italian from their food, culture, place, I mean just every single thing about Italian. Mad love. So I've been listening to the 'Let's Speak Italian' podcast and also tried some few apps on my iPhone to getting my Italian language going. I hope in the long run I'll be able to speak and also understand Italian properly.